Frankly, we’ve got so many bigger things to tackle, debating on whether or not you HAVE to wear a mask seems–what’s the word–oh, yeah: stupid.

Those insisting that preventing the spread of the coronavirus is an affront to their personal freedoms most likely started out their lives folding their arms and saying, “I don’t wanna!” A certain percentage of poorly-skilled and insecure parents then probably said, “OK, Buffy, if you don’t want to, that’s just fine with me.”

I think we have finally reached the point where we need to turn this around. Work with me on this, but I believe that wearing masks should be banned and made punishable by 6 months in a germy prison.

This works two-fold. To start with, all of us who insist on wearing them would become the outlaws. Allow us to feel that for a while. We could be the despised, the ridiculed, the ones doing the wrong thing. Maybe that would inspire some of those currently refusing to wear masks to wear one. You know, reverse psychology, which a skilled parent uses when their child say, “I don’t wanna.”

And, perhaps, by making masks illegal, those with the infringed rights might have a little dab of logic permeate their brains. Because, when I say, “No masks” I mean nada. Nowhere, now way, no how.

So, pity the catcher in baseball and that first foul tip that comes his way at 100 mph. Or the hockey goalie having to defend a flying piece of hard plastic with whatever teeth remain in his mouth. Welders, sorry, but you’re going to have to scorch a cornea or two for a while. I mean, we don’t want those rights infringed.

Oh, and you’ll be able to spot the beekeepers a mile away with those lumpy faces.

That’s right, we all need to realize that requiring masks are part of a government conspiracy. I believe it was the 8th amendment to the Bill of Rights that said, “Thou shalt not weareth a mask.” Or, maybe I’m confusing that with the 10 Commandments. Whatever.

This past week, I interviewed the head of the Snohomish Farmers Market up north. She had asked for the interview with the hope of conveying to listeners that wearing masks is a STATE requirement. It’s not political, and they don’t want to have to be the Mask Police. They just want to sell you berries or something and not risk getting a fine themselves.

But I’m fully braced for my mask ban to be rejected. We’ll probably just continue in our fractured way, with politics being the factor on whether we wear a mask or not. Estimates are that if we continue on our current course, upwards of 200,000 Americans will be dead from the coronavirus by November 3rd, Election Day.

It upsets me that so many people ignore the science, ignore the statistics and believe COVID-19 will just go away, as the president has suggested. I can only go by what I believe to be true and I believe that if I wear a mask, and use a lot of caution for the next four months, I’ll be among those around to vote in the next election.

Tim Hunter