A friend of mine took me aside this past week and we had a great talk about life and happiness and all that stuff.
I’ve known a couple of people struggling with that very thing lately–being happy and how to get there. This one friend said that his therapist listened to him for a while the other day and then asked the poignant question, “So, where’s this all going?”
The doctor brings up a great question for all of us: Where is all this going? Can you answer that? Do you know? Are you heading towards a destination or settling on whatever destination you end up at?
If you have a choice, why not control where you’re going? And the big secret is–you can.
There are so many things that are completely out of our control and since none of us are deities, we just have to let some of those things go. (No, I’m not breaking out into a song from “Frozen”) Every single day of our lives we are faced with a seemingly endless parade of little decisions that all have an effect on where we end up. I like to use ‘driving a car’ as an example of our life. Are you just driving to see where you end up or do you have a destination in mind? This is where a lot of common sense can kick in, like if you were planning to drive to Mexico, you really shouldn’t head north. That’s the long way.
One of the best things you can possibly do to gain control of your life is to start each day in a positive mood. Sounds easy enough, but they did a survey recently and asked 2,000 people how many days a year they woke up in a good mood. The average response: 60 days a year. Seriously? So, that means 305 days a year (one more in a leap year and that’s in 2020) your day starts in a negative mood. For every 6 days of your life, 5 of them start sucking. Here’s an idea: flip that around!
That would be a great starting point. If there’s one thing my little 35 year radio career has taught me is that sometimes, you have to force yourself towards a good mood in order to get there on a more regular basis. At least, it’ll be that way in the beginning. If you train yourself that today will be a great day, you’ll make being positive your default mode. It doesn’t mean there won’t be some seriously sucky days ahead in your life, but you’ll be positive-based and can push those aside more easily. Plus, when you’re on the air, talking to thousands of people, each with their own day going on, what a great opportunity to be a positive influence in the start of their day!
Now, getting back to my car analogy, here’s a question: Maybe where you are right now was your destination? You could be existing in the destination you imagined years ago. If so, enjoy it. Cherish it. If not, set your personal GPS to the goal you have in mind today and start driving.
I’ve continued to pursue balance most of my life, although I get drawn to excess. I just do. But making that effort to seek a balance has paid off for yours truly and I’ve seen it work for others. It’s so easy to look at others and do a snap judgement on whether they’re doing good or not. They may appear ‘successful’, but in reality, they could be struggling just like so many others. I got a reminder of that this week when I read that the lead singer of Roxette, Marie Frederiksson, had died. Maybe the name of the group doesn’t ring bells, but she was part of a band that had a string of serious hits in the 1980s–“Must have been Love”, “She’s got the Look”, etc.–so you might think, “Man, they’ve got it made.”
I hadn’t given her a thought in years. All I knew was that she was beautiful, had a fantastic voice, a series of hit songs and truly must be living the dream. In reality, she had been battling cancer for the past 17 years and finally lost that battle at age 61.
That was 3 years ago for me and I’ve got so much more to do in this life.
Remember, it’s not just about going–it’s knowing where you’re going. Got a destination in mind? Good, let me know when you get there and we’ll celebrate. In the meantime, enjoy the ride. Our trips are always shorter than we’d like them to be.
Oh, and buckle up.