I’m not sure when I first realized that I might be wired differently than most folks. I am grateful for the way it turned out, as my somewhat skewed view of events around me has allowed this kid from Torrance, California, to create jokes that, if nothing else, crack me up.

Example, I’m sitting on a jet heading for Florida a week ago. I could be thinking about a lot of things—the political conventions, the Olympics, Ken Griffey, Jr. going into baseball’s Hall of Fame. But NO!!! I look up and see this sign:

Think of what might pop up in your brain. Got it?  My gray matter immediately asked the questions, “Why, in an emergency, would they make the English-speaking people exit on the left side of the jet, and force the Spanish-speaking people to use the right side? And what if I speak French? Just stay seated as everybody leaves?”

See what I mean.

Another thought popped into my brain, but I’ve learned that not everything is fit for public consumption. So, this one will require some background. I must make it very clear, this ISN’T a joke, but an observation. Ironic, but true.

So, we have this presidential race, featuring two very polarizing candidates. While there are die-hard party people on both sides (and I’m talking R’s and D’s, not beers and wines), the vast majority of us are counting down the days until November when we will have to pick the candidate who will do the least amount of damage, rather than who will be the better leader. I know more folks that are voting against someone, rather than for someone and that’s sad.  But here’s the delicate matter I hinted about earlier.

With those two candidates, locked in and representing their party, a judge has decided that now is the perfect time to release John Hinkley, Jr.–the guy who tried to impress Jodi Foster by shooting President Ronald Reagan back in 1981!

Seriously. We don’t have already enough wack-jobs out there on the streets with easy access to weapons?  So now, you’re going to release someone who shot an American president on TV? Oh, he’s got to stay on his meds and adhere to 130+ conditions in order to stay free. His mom is 90 and she’s supposed to take care of him. Yeah, I’m feeling good about this.

And of course, my brain wonders how he’s going to feel when he learns Jodi Foster is really not interested. I mean, really.

So, there you have it. Ladies & gentlemen, that concludes this little tour of the dark corner of Tim Hunter’s brain. Please head towards the exit and do visit our gift shop on the way out.

English-speaking people to the left, Spanish-speaking to the right.

French-speaking, just sit there for now and I’ll figure out what to do with you later.

Tim Hunter