Once each week, I like to sit down and just let the keyboard take off and see where it leads me. For most of my blogs, I like to pounce on a topic of the day. But having to choose between the U.S. Men’s Soccer Team getting spanked by Argentina, the on-going gun debate or the farce that we call the presidential campaign, I’m opting to create a new category.  Actually, this may become an occasional feature of this blog.

I call it, The Apology Collection—Episode 1.

Think about it. We ALL have things that we regret or feel bad about that took place in our life. What we need to do is learn from those incidents and move on. Gradually, becoming a better person, life lesson after life lesson.  So, let’s begin with my inaugural collection.

• THE SUBJECT: Susan X–I don’t remember her last name.  Heck, we were in kindergarten together so we’re talking back shortly after the earth cooled. What I DO remember is that she had cheeks that were rosy red, that looked to my 5-year-old brain, like peaches.  So, one day while walking home from school, I decided to bite one of them.
• WHAT I LEARNED–Always find out, before biting someone’s cheek, if they have an older brother that will beat you up the following day. Susan, I’m very sorry I did that. Although, not as sorry as I was when your brother showed up.

• THE SUBJECT: Laurel Scheerer–I have no idea where she ended up, but we attended Immanuel Lutheran School together for quite a few years, from grades 1 through 6. (apparently, my parents decided to go for a parochial education to help me cut down on my cheek biting) I recall several things about Laurel. In the 3rd grade, she became famous as the girl who went down the slide in her dress.  The dress caught at the top and by the time she reached the bottom, she was down to just a slip.  She landed and hit the ground running, making a beeline towards the girls’ restroom. But why Laurel continues to haunt me is because of the time we were playing hide ‘n seek in the 3rd grade. Laurel found me and was heading back to the flag pole, the base, to announce “1-2-3 on Tim!”  We were pretty close and for some reason (and this is why I probably should donate my brain to science some day) I decided it would be a good idea to push Laurel, right before we got back to the flagpole. She went face-first into the flagpole and cracked off a tooth.  Seriously, what goes through the mind of a 8-year-old boy to think that it was ever a good idea to do something like that?
• WHAT I LEARNED–In a word, karma. Not too much later, some of the kids in our Cub Scout troop were farting around out in front of my parents’ house when a kid named Mark Kerstein threw a rock, making a direct hit on my front left tooth. Half of it was just gone.  So Laurel, a bit overdue, but I’m really sorry I pushed you into that pole.  But, truth be told, I was safe.

OK, just one more for this round.

• THE SUBJECT: Giovanni Kordowski–OK, I was a goofball growing up.  Seriously, I can’t explain half the things I did.  At least now, I’m up to 52%.  So, it’s 9th grade, I’m now in the public school systems and we had a new neighbor with a funny name. She was riding on the bus with me and something in my noggin’ thought it would be hilarious to grab her sack lunch and play a game of keep away on the bus.  It went to the back, she pleaded, “Give it back!” It came back up to the front and I caught it and gave it a throw. Someone in another row had their window open that morning and it sailed out on to the street as we continued to ride to school. She was in tears, I felt bad (good timing, Tim) and eventually, she turned me in. Then I got to explain to my mom and dad why I had my bus-riding privileges revoked for a week.
• WHAT I LEARNED–Never take someone’s personal property and disrespect them by throwing it around. Plus, if you do, always be sure all the windows are closed.  I’m sorry, Giovanni. My bad.

OK, that feels good. The rest of you waiting for your apology–well, you’ll have to keep checking back, or join the rest of the others waiting for their turn. They’re currently waiting down at Century Link Stadium, at least until the Seahawks are back.

Sorry about that.

Tim Hunter