Warning: contents inside may have shifted

You know I was only kidding.

Seriously, when September 20th of this year rolled around and I hit the big 6-0, I brushed off the landmark birthday by saying, “OK, this is where I start falling apart.”

And I did.  In spite of the fact Christina & her family, as well as Tyson and his sig-other joined us at the house that day, I got sick. I mean, the worst kind of sick I’ve been in years.  I had to cancel everything the following week and didn’t even feel remotely human again until Friday night, 5-1/2 days after being ill.  Fortunately, no one else caught it.

There was a lot of wrong about this.  I never (or use to rarely) get sick.  First, I had an almost week-long flu bug.   Then, for several weeks, the intestines were in rebellion.  I was bloated.  It was just the weirdest thing.

But I carried on.  Got lots to do, so I did it…until a week ago when one of my daily bouts with nausea turned into lay-down-on-the-couch dizziness.  So, I called the doctor, went in for an appointment, but left supposing it was a really bad flu. They did some blood work and then I went home and played “Collect the stool sample.”

I share all this because it’s entirely possible that the resulting explanation could also happen to you.

It was a two-parter.  The “flu” turned out to be something I picked up called Giardia. I thought it was the name of an airport in New York, but no–it’s a parasite.  A what?  Yep, a very common parasite that I had never heard of before.  Among the things I learned about Giardia is that it is ugly.

                         What Giardia looks like                        (from a recent session at the  JC Penney Photo Studio)

How does one get Giardia?  It’s the reason you don’t drink water out in the woods without boiling it.  I’m thinking, “Oh, yeah, that’s me! Mr. Outdoors.”  I eventually figured out the source.  During a recent rainstorm, our backyard rain barrel was clogged and overflowing, so I had to get out there and bail, stagnant water splashed everywhere and the rest is history.  Nothing that five day’s worth of an antibiotic once tested in the Atoll Islands couldn’t fix.  Seriously, when I picked it up from the pharmacist, she said: “Whatever you do, don’t take this within 24 hours of drinking alcohol and then, once you’ve finished the pills, wait 72 hours before having a drink….or…….”  Right after that, she closed the doors and went home out a secret back entrance.

OK, that takes care of the intestinal issues, but what about my dizziness.  Even after the antibiotics did their job, I was still not feeling great.  You know the feeling you get after your big brother spins you around on that thing at the playground, you yell “Stop” and he keeps spinning.  Dizzy, nauseated, yep—that.  On my initial visit to the doctor, he asked if I had hit my head recently. “Nope, not me.”  Then later, I realized something.

On October 16th, I filmed a video for the city of Bothell, with the punchline being a bunch of football players tackling me.  With one on each side, they would grab me and slam me to a foam mat that was stationed right behind me.  Sure, no problem.  Never show any signs of weakness. I’m not too old.  So, we did it once…and then again….and then again…..

By the time I was done filming, I was a bit woozy, but didn’t give it a second thought.  The long and short of it—I didn’t hit my head on anything, but my head did get pretty seriously jostled. Three times!  You got it–I had a mild concussion.

I’m still not back yet, but the wooziness is lessening each day.  The doc says within a couple of weeks, I should be back to normal. Well, OK, normal-esque. You know what I mean.

So, let us review our lessons:  Don’t drink water out of rain barrels and avoid being tackled by football players.

Class dismissed.

Tim Hunter