So, Seattle is undergoing one of those rare heat waves.  We cracked 90-degrees for the second day in a row and people up here just melt.

At work today, it was the land of the sleep-deprived zombies.  You see, up here, most homes don’t have air conditioning, so we usually just ride these things out.  But after last night’s sleep diet, I decided I would spend my lunch hour today looking around for a portable air conditioner and just see what happened.

I first went to Amazon.com to take advantage of my free shipping–which comes when you join Amazon Prime, but that’s a story for another time.  I saw several portable units that sat in your room and vented out a window.  But they were all over the board, so I was able to utilize my subscription to ConsumerReports.org.  Another wise purchase, it ranked some portable air conditioners in the price range I was willing to pay, as well as pointed out some of the off brands to avoid, like Wagatooshi.

But Amazon only promises two-day free shipping.  I wanted one today, so I could sleep tonight.  That meant a lunch-hour run to Costco, then, if they failed me, I would wander over to the Home Depot across the parking lot and see if they had anything.

After being laughed out of Costco, (“Yeah, right!”) I slipped into Home Depot and wandered around the store.  Fearing I’d be ridiculed two stores in a row, I looked on my own for their fan section.  I finally found it, but was disappointed to see fans and purifiers, but no air conditioners.

As I made my way to the exit, something told me to risk public humiliation and ask one of the clerks if they, indeed, had any portable air conditioners.  Immediately after asking the question, I was shocked to see the thoughtful look on her face as she said, “Yes, I think we have a few over there!”

She directed me towards the other end of the store and, there they were.  8 LG portable air conditioners.  As I approached and the angels sang, I couldn’t help but notice others walking in that direction.  As I examined a box, two people came up and just grabbed their new AC unit.  That helped rush my decision.  I picked one up and walked it over to the cash register.  I had seriously scored.

The even better news:  I had seen one on-line, a 5,000 BTU model, for $269.   What I had dragged to the checkout line was an 8,000 BTU model for the same price. And now, I own one.

It was a snap to install (relax guys, didn’t even glimpse at the instructions) and in less than 10-minutes, it was pumping ice-cold air into our bedroom.  I’m not going to get greedy.  I’m only going to chill it down low enough so that we can hang beef in there.  And maybe chill a few bottles of wine.

This time, heat, I’M the winner.  Victory is mine, along with a freezing cold bedroom, thanks to the greatest invention in the history of mankind.

Tim Hunter