I Am An ‘Occupy’ Protestor

I am an ‘Occupy” protestor.

I am a member of the 99% of Americans who are being victimized by the remaining 1%.  These evil, evil people are fueled by greed and controlling as much of our country’s wealth as possible.

That is why I have chosen to join others in an area of downtown and sit around for weeks.  Doing nothing sends a strong message to those heartless bastards that have ruined our country. I’m sure that by not working, not doing anything to make the situation better will make the situation better.  Oh, shoot, there it goes again–I hate it when logic gets in the way of making my point.

I mean, without us, America wouldn’t know they’re in a recession, right?  Or they wouldn’t feel like the whole Wall Street bailout was wrong, or even know that the housing market crumbled because of blatant greed.  I’m helping Americans realize just how bad things are in this country by camping out on a sidewalk in the downtown area.

When we get restless or someone thinks it’s a good idea, we’ll go out and block major streets and intersections, ideally during rush hour, so we can make people more aware of the problem.  I’m sure working long hours, trying to raise a family and struggling to pay bills in a recession isn’t enough of a reality check.  People need to know we really have a serious problem.  Apparently a great way to make that point is to tie up traffic so that working moms can’t pick up their kids at daycare on time and have to pay time and a half to their caregiver. 

When our demands are met, I’ll return to whatever it was I was doing before.  Actually, I wasn’t really doing that much, all because of the greedy 1%.  From what I’ve seen, the biggest hurdle Occupy protestors have to overcome is the fact that no one really knows what our demands are.  I mean, like when we have wars, there’s something everyone’s against.  That’s a no-brainer.  But protesting corporate greed is a lot harder.  I don’t know how long this will take and I guess what we’re hoping for is for all those rich cats to give back all the money they made by exploiting the American consumer.

Remember, our right to free speech and protesting is protected by the 1st amendment.  We have the complete right to protest, even if we don’t know what we’re trying to achieve.  We’re going to continue exercising that right no matter how much American tax payers have to dish out to cover the overtime of police departments in cities across the countries.  Hey, that’s the price of freedom.  In a way, it’s a good thing I don’t have a job because then all this doesn’t cost me a thing.

Some people just don’t get it.  It makes me mad when the police use pepper spray to make us get off of streets after one of us started being a cop with a stick as the Occupy crowd chanted “F#*K the police!”  Remember that free speech thing?  Under the 1st amendment, we have the right to antagonize police until we get them to react in a way that gives us a nice photo-op to promote our agenda.

Oh yeah, an agenda.  One of these days we’ve gotta come up with one of those.

Whenever I didn’t get my way at home, I’d just whine and complain until mom and dad gave in.  An entire country is a little more challenging, but I’ve got the support of an entire generation of really good whiners and complainers that are entitled to much better than we’re getting. I’m sure we’re going to get our way.

I am an “Occupy” protestor and I am a moron.


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