I had one this morning.
The alarm went off and I quickly reached over to silence it, then forced myself out of bed to begin another day. There I was, once again, coaching myself to keep moving, to get to the coffee pot, to just hang in there for one more day.
I’m tired. I’ve lived a tired life. However, it’s all by choice. I’ve long felt we’re given so many breaths on this planet and that’s it. So, rather than having mine run out and suddenly finding myself with no time left and the feeling of so much more to do, I’ve chose to squeeze as much as I can out of this existence.
And that makes for a tired life. Going back to 1980 when I started at KOMO radio, I’ve spent most of the past 31 years getting up at either 2:20am or 4am. The 2:20am wake up was to accommodate the morning show responsibilities, the 4am early rise is to facilitate being a writer for Radio On-Line’s Morning Show Prep, which I do before the main job each day. Hey, getting up at 4am means a good, solid 5-1/2 hours each night. That’s a promotion.
Back in the radio days, I would talk myself into moving around and getting this day underway with the lure of an afternoon nap on the other side of all I had to do. Towards the end of the radio career, it seemed like the naps happened less and less, because it always seemed like something needed to be done. It’s amazing how much you can accomplish when you only sleep four hours a day.
This morning, I heard the inner coach telling me, “C’mon, you can do it. Just keep going. Fire up that coffee and start writing.” Sometimes, I’ll promise myself a nap between 5:30 and 6 if I can get enough done, before waking up Victoria. However, today, I got the blood flowing and the caffeine level high enough that…..well, here I am, writing about it.
Sure, I yawn probably more than most, the circles under the eyes are a little more pronounced and more than once someone has stopped me and asked if I’m in the TV show, “The Walking Dead”, but like I said, it’s by choice and completely worth it. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Now, to decide: it’s almost 5:30. To keep writing, or sneak in that half hour nap.